Dissecting The Fireworks Theory

In the two days that have elapsed since my last blog entry, a deluge of reports have been flooding in describing equally disturbing discoveries of massive animal carnage: thousands of fish found dead in a nearby area in Arkansas and the Chesapeake Bay, and hundreds more dead birds in Kentucky, to name a few.

The ominous mystery has puzzled experts over the last few days, but it appears the deadly discoveries have one thing in common: New Year’s. At least according to the Arkansas Fish and Game Commission (AFGC), which released a report today blaming illegal pyrotechnics for the animal massacres.

The tests on the birds revealed internal hemorrhaging and did not show any evidence of toxins or pesticides, the AFGC says, speculating that the birds flushed from the roost and hit buildings, trees and vehicles in their descent. However, the AFGC makes no final conclusions except to say that fireworks appear to be the culprit.

The theory is plausible, but dubious. It seems unlikely that “stress” could be to blame for the death of thousands of birds, as the AFGC claims. In fact, this bizarre phenomenon – especially accompanied by the similar incidents within such a short span of time – is ripe with prospects for conspiracy theories.

But we’ll leave that to the skeptics.

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